How To Get Along

You know that song: "Imagine all the people, living life in peace..." We can if we want. Something Jesus might have said, right? Don't worry, I'm not suggesting you should. Really, I just thought I'd tell you what I've been up to recently.

I've been trying to do things a bit differently, you see. Trying a different approach. Because I was kinda down in the dumps and got to thinking about life, the universe and... well... everything, really.

Humans - that's us (I presume you're human. If you're not, please say hi. I've never met a non-human who can read before) - live in societies. Societies have ideas of right and wrong. Those ideas of right and wrong vary between different societies (cultures, if you like). Not only that but they also vary with the progression of time. With all these ideas of right and wrong, it's not surprising we get a bit confused. 

During the recent riots in England, a friend posted on facebook how furious she was, how these people were acting like thugs and didn't deserve any sympathy.

"Every person from childhood 'knows' in their gut what is right and what is wrong, what is good and what is bad, what is ok and what is not ok." She said.

We really feel strongly about this, don't we? Without right and wrong, the foundations of moral order crumble, we fear.

The problem is - here comes a big statement - every conflict in the world, big or small, is created by conflicting ideas of right and wrong. You cannot have a conflict unless you have two sides who believe in their own righteousness.

It's always the righteous who go to war.


So how about this: try, for a second or two... well, make it an hour... half an hour? For moment, then, imagine there is no right and wrong. In other words: take all your ideas of right and wrong and let them go.

It means there's no such thing as justice. And the concept of justice is pretty ridiculous, if you think about it. When I hear people reported on the news saying they just 'want justice to be done' I now find myself wondering 'what do they mean?'

Are you still imaging there's no right and wrong? Good. Have you suddenly turned into a serial killer? I thought not.

So how is this of use to you? Well, whilst you're in this no right or wrong zone, it makes it harder for you to get into conflicts. Even internal ones! Why? Because you have absolutely no justification to back you up.

"But that doesn't stop people from telling me I'm wrong." No, but you don't have to believe them. I think it makes a difference. A big difference.

We tend to get angry when we're hurt. And we get hurt when people criticise us. We get all self-righteous and try to defend ourselves. But what about if we don't believe in their 'wrong'. Their criticism is now meaningless. We've turned their attack into nothing more than an opinion.

Even those internal conflicts. The ones that make you flog yourself with relentless guilt. You can let those go too. You don't have to feel guilt any longer, because it's impossible for you to have done something 'wrong'.

I knew this idea wasn't going to be popular, but I thought I'd say it anyway. I know you're all seething with a need for justice. "You're giving people a license to act badly!" I hear you rage. Almost certainly in unison.

In a sense, I am. Giving people a license to act 'badly' (how is it possible to judge?) diffuses a whole lot of conflict. And it might just help people to get along.