Meat Eating Self Defeating Rats Dressed As Lemmings

This is the world we now live in. The dystopian future is here. Rearing organic chickens is bad for the planet cos they run around to keep warm, wasting feed. Cattle will be raised inside so they stand still and just grow big enough to eat.

Tooo many people. But that's just nature taking its course. This is what we evolved brains for - so we could outgrow our planet and have to raise cows in cow factories.

Wells's idea in The Time Machine was that the human race would split into two - the Morlocks would live underground and feed on farmed Aryans (that's what they look like in the film, anyway). Yeah, we hope we don't turn into those nasty Morlock things...

But wait a minute - we are the Morlocks. The rest of the planet is our slave. We are the evil masters of our universe and there's no James Bond character to take us down. This world is subjugated. Our tyranny is unopposed.

Okay so a few thousand get drowned once in a while, but so what? Grieve 'em and leave 'em. Life is for the living. Keep on improving, expanding and demanding. We can make a better world if we all sing together.

While theists haggle over fossils and how many kinds of nothing it takes to create a something, the rats are looking more like lemmings every day, as they race to be the first over the capitalist precipice.

Our Father Who Farts In Heaven, Hallowed Be Methane...

Creationist Caught Speeding

"Sir, you were travelling at 30 mph over the limit."

"Prove it."

"Well, Sir, I recorded your speed on my speed gun."

"Speed gun? Pah - how do you know that really recorded my speed? Are you trying to suggest that the velocity of an object in space can be measured by a 'gun'?"

"It relies on the Doppler Effect applied to a radar beam to measure the speed of objects at which it is pointed. But I also have you on video."

"Video? The whole concept was dreamed up by video philosophers. The idea that images can be recorded via a lens onto a tape, which stores the information as a series of 0s and 1s - it's somewhat far fetched, don't you think?"

"Here you are, Sir, look for yourself. Is this your vehicle?"

"Nope."

"It's the same model, the same colour and has the same registration number."

"How can that be my vehicle? You can see for yourself my vehicle is right there at the side of the road. How can it be in two places at once?"

"Sir, you know what I mean."

"How do you know that I know what you mean? Hey, what are you doing?"

"I am arresting you for obstructing the course of justice."

"Wait a minute! I haven't done anything?! Where's your evidence?!"

"I'm taking you in, buddy. You'll have plenty of time to talk evidence with your lawyer. Now get in the car."

"I'm not getting in that car... ouch! Stop! You're breaking the Second Law of Thermodynamics!"

Square Pegs

The theist often finds it necessary to have their faith hammered into their children. It's all about repetition. Why?

We talk about having things 'drummed into us', sometimes. With religion, this is a very appropriate analogy. Theistic ideas are presented to vulnerable young minds like the beats of a loud drum ... God is Love God is Love God God is Love ... You'll Go To Hell You'll Go To Hell You'll Go To Hell You'll Go To Hell ... with the idea that this will encourage (or force) the children to march along in step.

Theists often claim atheism is a religion. Yet I don't know any godless folk who sit their children down and have them repeat "There is no god" over and over. I don't know any godless folk who encourage their children to read The God Delusion x number of times a day and repeat key parts before they go to bed. I don't know any goldess folk who send their kids to special atheist schools where they can have the lessons on the lack of evidence for gods.

In my own case, my son knows I'm an atheist but he's free believe whatever he wants. Weeks, months, maybe years can go past without imaginary creators ever getting a mention.

But I have to wonder why, if a god is so almighty and his lessons for life so strong, belief in him has to be bludgeoned into us from an impressionable age. It's like a square peg being forced into a round hole - if you keep hitting it hard enough, eventually it will go in (and you'll probably never be able to get it out again).