"Get off the cross honey – someone needs the wood."

I can't help but think, if there was a real Jesus, his story went something more like this guy's.

But if Jesus had a blog, rather than come back to Mary with his tail between his legs, he'd have just kept making it up:

"23rd July, 33
Met a bunch of hungry folk - about five thousand or so. Only had a few loaves and some dodgy-looking mackrel. Was about to borrow Luke's donkey (it's faster than mine) and make myself AWOL, pretty sharpish like, when - hey presto! - would you believe it? ..."