Theists are always misquoting Darwin and Einstein so I thought I'd also get creative with some of what Jesus said:
"Now, therefore, lift up your face, that you may receive the things that I shall teach you today. I am the one who ... will destroy you. You shall love your... camel... as your... Mother."
They said to Him: "Shall we then, being children... be the first to throw a stone?" Jesus said to them: "When you make... the outer as the inner... then you shall enter... the female... and have it abundantly."
Jesus said: "Blessed are the... fish... within you. Now, therefore, lift up... my shepherd... bring forth what is within Him. Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these...
"...why are you afraid? Even the least among you can... doubt... I am the Father."
They said to Him: "Look, the Kingdom is... not... in the sky," Jesus said to them: "...whatever... split."
Friday, May 02, 2008
Misquoting Jesus
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5 comments:
Heresy! Your God of the Atheists said it himself: "As for a future life, every man must judge for himself between conflicting vague probabilities." If that is so, choose the bible! Choose the light!
That's funny.
I will remind you that I didn't misquote Darwin, I quoted him out of context..a bit different than "Blessed are the...fish."
GTY: every man must judge for himself between conflicting vague probabilities."
QF: More like choosing between something that makes sense and something that doesn't.
Interesting...I was thinking about Jesus and misquotings earlier today, and posted a bit (http://thegoddam.blogspot.com/2008/05/jesus-and-porn.html).
I relized that leaving it at that is stunningly self-serving. I really did like this post, and think it's way better than mine. *you*you*you*.
Adding words to creationist mouths:
"Maybe the Big Bang event was caused by God (having a major orgasm)"
"It's highly improbable that this watch just designed itself (which is why the watch factory is it's mother)"
"There's no life out there in the universe (and the Earth is a flat square too)"
"The Bible is innerent (which is why I believe in unicorns and bugs bunny who likes to chew the cud)."
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