"Sir, you were travelling at 30 mph over the limit."
"Prove it."
"Well, Sir, I recorded your speed on my speed gun."
"Speed gun? Pah - how do you know that really recorded my speed? Are you trying to suggest that the velocity of an object in space can be measured by a 'gun'?"
"It relies on the Doppler Effect applied to a radar beam to measure the speed of objects at which it is pointed. But I also have you on video."
"Video? The whole concept was dreamed up by video philosophers. The idea that images can be recorded via a lens onto a tape, which stores the information as a series of 0s and 1s - it's somewhat far fetched, don't you think?"
"Here you are, Sir, look for yourself. Is this your vehicle?"
"Nope."
"It's the same model, the same colour and has the same registration number."
"How can that be my vehicle? You can see for yourself my vehicle is right there at the side of the road. How can it be in two places at once?"
"Sir, you know what I mean."
"How do you know that I know what you mean? Hey, what are you doing?"
"I am arresting you for obstructing the course of justice."
"Wait a minute! I haven't done anything?! Where's your evidence?!"
"I'm taking you in, buddy. You'll have plenty of time to talk evidence with your lawyer. Now get in the car."
"I'm not getting in that car... ouch! Stop! You're breaking the Second Law of Thermodynamics!"
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Creationist Caught Speeding
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4 comments:
//"Sir, you were travelling at 30 mph over the limit."//
Creationist: You use your speedometer to calibrate your speed gun and your speed gun to calibrate your speedometer....there's no way you're anywhere near accurate.
Cop: No, I don't do any such thing.
Creationist: Besides, nobody has ever gone over 10 miles per hour before, because that is the maximum speed limit of the universe.
Cop: No, the maximum speed limit of the universe is actually 186,000 miles per second.
Creationist: It says in the Bible that Jesus rode on a donkey into Jeruselam.
Cop: Okay, you've had 1 too many Bible studies in your life, I'm taking you down to the precinct for being an incompetent fool.
Are we appealing to common sense...yay! Can I play, can I play?
Evolutionist: Yes, officer, how can I help you?
Cop: Sir, get out of the car and put your hands behind your back.
Evolutionist: Why?
Cop: This car is reported stolen.
Evolutionist: Its not stolen, its mine I found it in the neighbor's driveway!
Cop: That means it belongs to your neighbor.
Evolutionist: No, there was a storm last night and this morning I found this car so it must mean that the storm, through a series of convenient accidents, manufactured this Ford Mustang.
Cop: Sir, that is ridiculous.
Evolutionist: Why? Do you see any kind of car manufacturing plant around here?
Cop: No, but there is one in Detroit.
Evolutionist: But have you personally seen it?
Cop: No.
Evolutionist: Have you been inside of a manufacturing plant?
Cop: No.
Evolutionist: Then it doesn't exist and I have established several theories on how the frame, engine, wheels, glass, and full tank of gas came to together to form this car.
Cop: Sir, you were travelling at 30 mph over the limit.
Creationist: The speed limit is a manmade law, and therefore I don't need to follow it.
Cop: Then I'm giving you a ticket.
Creationist: You're going to hell for giving a ticket to one of God's own children.
Cop: You're going to jail for threatening a police officer.
Creationist (in back of squad car): Everything's okay, God will send an angel of the Lord and bust me out of jail.
Cop: Hahaha! You're crazier than those hallucinating dopers I picked up this morning, by the way, have some schnozberries.
"You're going to hell for giving a ticket to one of God's own children."
Lol
This is exactly how Christians talk! (sarcasm) Somebody doesn't have any Christian friends.
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