The End Is

Matt: "Why Jesus had to die, and the significance of a blood sacrifice: without the shedding of blood there is no remission of sin."

My journey has come to an end. Well, this journey, at least, has drawn to a conclusion. There are others, not of this blog, which I must now embark on...

Why? Because I have come to the heart of Christianity - blood sacrifice.

See, I was listening to the radio in the car, the other day, when I heard Armando Iannucci on Desert Island Discs. He was talking about how he once flirted with the possibility of becoming a priest. I think he went to priest school, or something. The problem was, no-one could explain to him why Jesus had to die for our sins. In other words, he couldn't understand the practical purpose of Jesus getting snuffed and how that related to our our nasty sin-rash getting better.

Not taking anything away from the generosity of the gesture, just a little puzzling, that's all.

I must admit, this has puzzled me for a while, too. See, religion is all very good at sounding meaningful, but when you look for real meaning, you find it's all about bizarre rituals and self-fulfilling statements - It's good. Why? Because the book says so? Why? Because God wrote it. How do you know? Because the book says so.

Finally, today, somebody, quoted above, spelled out what is behind this whole thing:

Two billion people believe a man called Jesus had to die as a blood sacrifice.

Yes, you heard me right, TWO BILLION people think a bit of BLOOD SACRIFICE is essential for running a healthy community.

Yep. I'm not making this up. I swear to God.

2,000,000,000,000 people are convinced their god, turned bloke, had to be killed in some kind of black-magic ceremony to do a spell which would somehow help make their bad stuff go away. I think I'd been told this before, but it was just so far out, I couldn't accept it - surely, these people, who make up the majority of the society I live in, couldn't be mixed up in this kinda crazy stuff.

You know, I had Christianity rammed down my throat at school and nobody ever told me it was all about some voodoo shit.

And for good reason. I don't think I would've gone back to school. I mean, I used to love watching Hammer Horror movies as a kid. What I want to know is, why did Peter Lorre, Vincent Price, Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee never get cast in any God movies?

"Eye of newt, rats tail, Mongoose earlobe, lip of hamster... Egor!"
"Yes, Master?"
"Get some Son-of-God blood!"
"How much, master?"
"Erm... about two teaspoons should be enough."
"Yes, master..."

So, there's nothing more to talk about. Religion is absurd. It's scary. It's insane. There's not one shred of sanity supporting it.

You can waffle on about who wrote what, when and where; whether this or that line in the Gospels makes sense; whether it's myth or history or a muddle of the two... it doesn't matter.

Because, right there at the core of this belief, the muscle that beats the blood of Christianity around it's corpulant body is an act of ritual magic. A spell. A moment right out of the X-rated version of Harry Potter. Jesus Christ sacrificed himself upon an altar made of two bits of 4x4 then... abracadabra!... hey presto!... allahkazam!... kaBOOM! and a puff of sparkly dust... and we're all fixed up.

Then he climbed on his broomstick and flew away.

So that's it. If you believe in the art of conjury, what more can I say? There's nothing to add, is there?

There's nothing, really, to debate. In fact, by debating religion, we are merely lending it substance. For there is otherwise none to it.

If you take the wizard's approach to life (with the correct combination of miraculous substances, an incantation which trips off the tongue and a swish of the magic-wand - all things can be done), fine. Good luck. Bon voyage.

I just ask you try not to let your belief in magic hurt others.

Peek-A-Boo!

Why is your god playing hide-and-seek with us? I enjoy this game, as much as anyone. Call me a sore loser, if you will, but I do object being sent to burn in hell for all eternity if I don't find the hider.

"Whatsoever ye shall ask in my name that will I do."

Not one for modesty, that Jesus bloke. Well, we've given him 2000 years - everyone happy that he's delivered on his promise?

Jesus, You Nut!

Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that he and his disciples were not even able to eat. When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, "He is out of his mind."

Mark 3:20-21


Why did Jesus' family think he was crazy? Didn't they know he was the 'Son of God'?

Quote of the Day

Christians are like a council of frogs in a marsh or a synod of worms on a dunghill, croaking and squeaking, "For our sakes was the world created."

Celsus, around the 2nd century C.E.