Jesus Was A Big Joke...

...and the joke was on the Jews, according to a book called Caesar's Messiah, by Joseph Atwill.

The Romans invented Christianity to help subdue the rebellious Jewish part of their empire. The character of Jesus was based on the emperor Titus. Atwill believes the gospels are poking fun at the Jews, mocking their defeats at the hands of Roman legions. Part of the prank is persuading the Jews to unwittingly worship a Roman emperor as a god.

"The Jews who ended up following the false Messianic literary character 'Jesus' would, unbeknownst to them, really be worshipping the Emperor Titus."

The Romans were a very clever bunch, weren't they? And to think their methods are still being used by modern empires to have a laugh at the expense of their subjects.

You think Emperor Bush is really a Christian? Don't make me laugh.

So, God says to Allah...

On The Deluded vs The Intellectual Geniuses blog, Green says,

God's creation originally was all good. Sin came into the human picture with the CHOICES that Eve and Adam made. Eve was deceived and Adam rebelliously chose to disobey. Since then everyone, except one, was born with a sin nature becasue we are all ultimate descendants of the first couple.

God (being omniscient) knew this would happen and had a redemption plan in mind all along, which began with the promise in Genesis 3:15 and was realized with the sacrificial death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

To which I reply:

So what is the point of all this bollocks, then? Your god is just fucking with us?

God turns to Allah, "I am going to create some good creatures who will later become deeply fucked-up."

"Yo, my deific bredrin, why is yo goin' to do dat?" replies Allah.

"So then I can give them the chance to redeem themselves. Wanna join me?" says God.

Allah, "Don't mind if I do. Got me some vestil virgins to sort out first, so I'll catch up wit yo in di 8th century, man." (Allah was actually a Rastafarian)

What is the point of this little scheme? I remember last time you said I had to work out my own reason. Which leaves the Christian no better off than the atheist - living a pointless life and wondering what it's all about.

Some tricksters came to my son's school and gave the kids a bible each. He showed me so I thought I might as well read and see what the fuss is about.

So, first thing this bible does is list Jesus lineage from David down to Joseph, his dad. Then it says his mum was given Jesus by the holy spirit or whatever and Joseph had nothing to do with it!

So within three pages this book, which millions of people profess dedication to, has well and truly screwed itself. You'd think that after 2000 years they'd have sorted out the glaring errors.

Meanwhile, evolution is happening before our very eyes. Expect the god people to start working on a new crackpot theory to explain this away...

It Was Better Then, Back In My Day

Remember this old post? Back in the good old days, when the sun was nicer and never gave you tumors; when a health drink was lemonade (with extra sugar to give you energy); when magicians made goldfish in a bowls appear from under top hats instead of merely pretending to be a goldfish... Ah, yes, them were the days.