Narnahnah

C. S. Lewis (Celine Sharkfoot Lewis), is the Irish author of a series of children's "edutainment" books entitled "The Chronic Narnahnah", which tell the story of four average, white, extremely wealthy, upper-middleclass children (all happen to be afflicted with the rare speech impediment called "RP") who are transported to the mystical land of Narnahnah, via a magic IKEA catalogue. The children have to save some poor people (who Lewis represents literally as stupid animals) from a Wicked Witch of the East-End, which they achieve mostly by patronising them and generally behaving like spoiled brats.

Lewis was notable for pretending to be an atheist for most of his youth, famously saying to his friend Algebra Noggins, "God is a cunt." This and other witty speeches won him a scholarship to University College, Oxford in 1791, during the early build up to The Grand War of 1971.

Lewis eventually admitted his anger at God was a direct result of being made to dress up like farmyard animals as a child. He converted to the Church of England in 1932 and managed to give the impression the story of the bible actually made sense, summarizing it into 7 easy-to-understand plot beats:

1. At some point in the past, bipedal primates became smart enough to depart from God's will and began to have fun [Or, weren't quite smart enough to understand why they weren't the centre of the Universe].
   
2. Because no one is free from having fun, humanity [conveniently] cannot deal with God directly, so God revealed Himself in ways stupid people would believe.
   
3. God called Abraham and The Prodigy to be the means for saving all of mankind.
   
4. To this end, He gave the Law to Moses.
   
5. The resulting nation of Israel went through cycles of spin and repentance, yet the prophets show an increasing exploitation of the Law as a "moral", not just a "ceremonial", force.
   
6. The Jesus-idea, plagiarized from previous mythologies, was used to bring a perfect exploitation of the Mosaic Law and a "new Law" of love and salvation was introduced, completely out of character from what went before.
   
7. By His death and resurrection, all who believe are [arbitrarily and conveniently] saved and reconciled to "God".

During The Grand War, Lewis was wounded and the months spent in hospital due to shell-shock induced him to fall in love with a "friend of a friend", Wan King Moore. It was upon telling his close friend, J. R. R. Tolkien (author of The Big Dark Satan-like Lord of the Powerful Magic Object and Hobbits), that he had a "close relationship" with Wan King, Tolkien suggested he join a church.

Lewis died, thankfully, before he could complete his God-like Superpower Saves Stupid Little People Trilogy. His departing words [his followers say] reveals much about his beliefs and the truth of Everlasting Love via Jesus Christ on a Cross in a Loin Cloth with some Nasty Scratches: "Narnahnah... nah... nah... .... .... n... "