The Infinite Possibility Church of the Unmighty Athe

Athe gave us His Athewrongs and Atherights - a set of rules which He admits is entirely the product of his own opinion, and which are only to be followed until someone can think up some better ones.

Following on from my previous post showing how Athe created the Universe, today I will be talking about Athe's Infinite Commandments. They are infinite, because He sees no reason to stop thinking up new ones. Also, you might think the term "Commandments" is a bit authoritarian for the god of Atheism. But Athe doesn't mean us to see His commandments as literal orders, like the commandments of other gods. Under the eyes of Athe, commandments are more or less suggestions. Athe skeptics say He only calls them "commandments" because it sounds cooler. But this is exactly what He intended:

Athe said "I give to you my Word. Therein that Word lies my Inconsistency. The skeptics will see the Inconsistency and rejoice. And such is my wish. For upon proving I am not, the world will be without purpose. And all things will seem needless but still quite interesting."

Athe's commandments are based solely in reality. His first, for example, denies it is better to give than reveive as, clearly, it is better to receive than give. Therefore, it is an Athewrong to give - a true Atheist must only receive (admittedly, this may lead to a lack of Christmas and birthday presents available amongst the Atheist community).

Athe, being an atheist god, denies His own existence.

This is one of the hardest concepts for the unAtheist to grasp as it would appear to be an obstacle to worshiping Him. However, by denying Athe's existence, his followers are at least accepting the possibility that He exists which, Atheists will argue, is usually enough to convince believers of other religions. Indeed, an Atheist worships his god by denying Him, as this is what the Atheist knows pleases Athe the most (were He to exist).

The second Athewrong, then, is: an Atheist must never accept the Unmighty Athe is anything other than a superstitious belief.

Note: One poor unAtheist asked "How do you know Athe is a he?" Of course, Atheists know Athe has the potential to be either a He or She. It's just more practical for Him to be a He, as it allows Him to lift heavy objects, reach things from high shelves, open sticky jam jar lids and urinate from a moving car whilst driving it - abilities essential for managing a Universe which is entirely self-managing.

The denial of Athe's existence is so fundemental to an Atheist's belief, many skeptics have tried to undermine Atheism by proving Athe does exist. Their argument usually follows that, although it is impossible for infinity to exist, it must, as it would be silly to imagine getting to the edge of the Universe and finding a brick wall, or that everything might suddenly stop happening. Therefore, infinity must exist. If infinity exists, then all things exist, including Athe.

There is nothing more upsetting for the Atheist than to have the existence of their god proved.

Which is why we must look to the word of Athe for guidance. In the Entirely Mythical Book of Athe (not to be taken seriously) we are told that the very day mankind evolved from homoerectus, people looked up to the sky (because it felt right) and asked: "Athe, why have we a strong sense of our own self-importance whilst all evidence indicates our universe is indifferent to our fate?" And Athe said unto them, "Don't ask me."

What this tells us is that Athe created us so that we could be witness to His Mediocrity: the Unmighty's universal Futility and Meaninglessness. In fact, these two commandaments, being the only two commandments he could think of before His Age of Boredom began, show: it is His wish for us to be aimless. We need to seek aimlessness, for therein lies the ultimate purity of mankind. The pointless nothing is the purest form of perfection.

The best evidence that Athe does not exist, however, is this: if He did exist, personal mp3 players would be much smaller.