The big news for JC followers, this week, has been the revelation that their Lord & Saviour may have been a cross-dresser. Recent gamma-spectromic analysis of the Shroud of Turin, an old linen cloth bearing the image of Jesus, has revealed He appears to have been physically traumatized in a manner exactly consistent with wearing this.
This has sent huge shockwaves through the cyberweb. Many Christian bloggers have been quick to dismiss the new findings. Marvin insists on his blog "Gamma-spectromic analysis is a whole new science which is as yet to be proven to be 100% reliable. After the infamous "double-penis" fiasco during the investigation into [Abraham] Lincoln's boxers, I think we need to maintain a healthy skepticism. Besides, the style of dress they are matching the trauma marks to didn't become popular amongst trannies until the spring of 2004, a good 1970-odd years after Jesus was crucified!"
Other responses have been less reasoned. "For centuries, scientists have been meddling with things that don't concern them. The Shroud of Turin is virtually God's T-shirt. If you're going to let scientists touch it you might as well let Satan wipe his ass on it!" says the Reverend Dirk Mercy.
Some more trivial. "Bummer. That's really nuked it's ebay auction value..." lamented Jesus Boots on his blog.
The whole experiment seems to have sparked a controversy at the heart of the University for Scientific Investigation into Items of Spurious Religious Identity, forcing the team working on this project to defend their claims in an official announcement, published on their website yesterday.
"Our investigation into the alleged burial garment of Jesus, known as the Shroud of Turin, has been thorough and meticulous. Our team of experts has been rigorous in it's investigations, comprising many many hours of backbreaking gamma-spectromic analysis and dress-structure to torso-scar correlation. Myself, Professor Hable-York, Dr Menshmit and Dr Jershishewits had to wear a total of 1239 dresses, over a period of 22 months, before we found the dress which created physical traumas exactly matching those found on the body of the figure in the shroud [Jesus]." says Professor Gernsnuube. "The matching dress was worn by Dr Menshmit for a total of 18 days and 12 hours."
Don't be surprised if this one rumbles on...
Friday, March 31, 2006
Lord, Saviour... Transvestite?
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22 comments:
ppppffffttt!
Did you sit on a pin?
It all makes sense now. I always thought of Jesus as the kind of guy who would wear those little backless high heeled sandals, pink ones, and those kind of shoes would definitely go with that frock.
I wouldn't like to speculate on the shoes as we have no evidence to give us any idea what he might have worn with this dress.
However, I think we can assume Jesus would have chosen something that matched.
Nope.
My mistake.
Yup.
You're very monosylabic today, Ms Bich.
Heheheeee! I just have 2 laugh! I don't know why I find this funny, but it just strikes me that way!
I especially like the comment, "did U sit on a pin?" My life was sooo boring B4 I found Blogging!
;]
hahah! I thought as much!
Simon...
I dub thee Apostle Simon of Irreverance...Continue to offend, my son!!!
Thank you, Father. May I continue to serve the Will of the Meaningless One.
So that's why most churches require their clergy to wear dresses. Always wondered.
Simon, I'm busy at work today. I'm letting Scribe take over.
Indeed, child. For only through a complete lack of coherence can a complete lack of understanding emerge.
haha. thanks.
'tis true. so true.
Read your post to Matt. I agree he isn't funny. Then mr I use .... to get me third on the humour catagory goes and slags people for using the word blog. People like you and I stand by our uniqueness. If someone visits my blog great, but if they come back then they like my humour, if not thats life.
Like the genre as they say nowadays but like them I don't know fuck nothing I know fuck all.
::blink::
Am I the only one clicking on the link?
I often wonder that.
There's more than one link in the article...which one are you inquiring about?
Yep, pick on JC an easy target. Print the same thing about Mohammed and let's see how fast someone straps on a c-4 bra and jumps in your car during a family outing.C'mon let's see your cujones!
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